It’s A Crappy Life

Actually it’s not that happy really.  Or maybe it’s gonna be, who knows?  The past year was, well, there were ups and downs.  Ups were WAAAAAAYYYYYYYY up and downs were as low as hell can get. 

Ok, let’s review.

At the beginning of the year, I had the time of my life and was brought to heaven for I thought after 2 years of loving and waiting someone we were finally together.  I was so elated that there was nothing else in my mind but JW. 

But I soon learn that nothing lasts forever.  In my case with JW we barely lasted 4 months.  Probably less than that.  I will be lying if I said I didn’t see the end coming.  In fact, I saw it right at the moment we started.  I knew it was a wrong time to start.  But I was stubborn and I refused to give in to my intuitions.  And when it came, I was so taken aback that I didn’t have time to prepare for it.  I knew it would come, but I didn’t expect it to come so soon.

Emotions came like torrents of waves rushing towards rocks during a thunderstorm.  There were fear, anxiety, misery, depression, insomnia and utmost desperation for the revival of a passion that I didn’t even know I was capable of.  And I definitely did not know that humans, other than machines, can break down.  All in all, I was the most broken hearted person.  I literally felt I had no life at all.  No meaning to carry on living.  For someone who’d frown upon suicide for all my life, I actually contemplated sticking a knife through my heart to stop all the pain that was welling inside me.

Now, almost a year has passed.  I’m glad to say I’ve finally lived through the worst of time.  There were so many things that I’ve said to myself to pull me of the verge of suicide and depression that I would have been a sage.  I grew in those short couple of months like a caterpillar emerging from the coccoon.  Still, I couldn’t have made it without the help of my family and friends.  I had almost ignored their presence in my life when JW and I were together but they were the ones beside me when I was at the lowest point of my love life.

So, I would like to thank all of you who had been there for me and I will never forget you guys like I did when I was mad in love.  My thanks especially to Mars for listening to me weeping like a girl over the phone.  To KY for being there and for driving me to places where you’d think I’d feel better.  Don’t think I’d forgotten the little incident with the cops at Bkt Jalil.  LOL.

And finally to JW for dumping me.  Haha.  No, seriously.  If I wasn’t dumped, I wouldn’t even be who I am today.  I’m much more matured and optimistic and I finally know what to do with my future and which path to take.  In other words, I grew up.

For the past 12 months, I had done terrible things to some people and I’d want to say I’m really sorry.  I knew I was selfish at times and there were bonds that I had to severe in the process of re-recognizing myself and reevaluating the paths that I had to take after The BreakUp.  There are some bonds that I wish to remake and some that I hope that with time, we’ll move on to different ways.  That doesn’t mean I don’t care about them anymore, but I just don’t wanna go back that wrong path that I had taken before.

As a final note, to everyone who knew me and those who don’t but happened to chance upon this blog, HAPPY NEW YEAR and MAY LADY LUCK BE WATCHING YOUR BACK EVERYWHERE YOU ARE.  To my friends, thank you for existing.  I love you all!

Haha.  That’s enough, I guess.  Before I get too emo and get all girly.  Or am I already?  Haha.  Happy New Year, everybody!

I know it’s high time I post about the China trip but as usual, I’m darn lazy.  And afterall, there isn’t much to talk about.  We went places, ate stuff and froze.  Though, I’ve gotta say Hangzhou is one heck of a beautiful place. 

And did you notice that pic I posted where there were these dilapidated shacks like it was a scene out of some wuxia movie?  That was Wuzhen.  It’s a very very gloomy place.  But out of the gloominess, there was some sort of excitement as though it was just a sleeping town waiting to be awakened. 

Beijing and Shanghai was… well, polluted.  VERY polluted.  But in comparison Beijing is better than Shanghai what with the Great Wall (I was almost tempted to say Long Wall) and the Forbidden City.  The most boring place was probably Tian An Men Square.  The only attraction there was not that big photo of that guy What’s-his-name but a baby dressed in tiger suit.  He was SOOOOOO adorable.  Everyone was busy taking pics with him and ignored the tour guide.  LOL.

Shanghai was very developed.  Too developed in fact.  There are cheap places to shop as well as expensive ones.  If you imagine Sungei Wang during festivities and multiply the crowd by about 5 folds, you’ll have the cheapest place to shop in Shanghai.  If you are afraid of the crowd like me, then be prepared to save like hell as the expensive shops are really very expensive.

Well, that is a bit about China.  We brought 3 luggages plus 1 hand luggage for four persons there.  But when we came home, each of us were lugging 2 each.  LOL.  Anyways, I didn’t really come to blog about China.  I just felt a responsibility to blog about it.  I shall write another entry.

I was packing up for my much awaited China trip just now.  Never had I know I had so many clothes I have not touched because of the warmth of Malaysia.  Okay, warm might be an understatement.

Anyways, as I was saying… Where the heck did all those clothes come from?  Long sleeves, Thick clothes, Jackets, Windbreakers.  I was beginning to wonder if I can even wear one of each each day.  There are definitely gonna be extras.

Well, probably the problem is I have a knack for shopping for winter clothes.  I don’t know why, but I do like to look at jackets and the likes.  Sometimes I tend to buy quite a few and never noticed it because I chucked it at the back of my closet.  I must really learn to spend wisely.

That reminds me.  There was one jacket/blazer/trenchcoat… whatever you might call it… that I saw in Parkson at KLCC.  My god!  It was damn nice!  REALLY REALLY REALLY very nice.  Haha.  But once I look at the price tag…  Let’s just say, I shall buy it when I’m a millionaire.  But then again, you can expect the price to be that high, especially when it’s from CALVIN KLEIN.

Anyway, have you ever noticed that when you are actually looking forward for something, it seems to approach so slowly that it kills you just to look at the calendar? 

I was counting the days since two weeks ago and I was thinking, what the hell?  Why are there still so many more days to go?  Is the Earth even spinning?  I really had the sudden compulsion to fly right up to space and spin the Earth hard. 

Now there’s another 4 more days to go.  Sigh.  This is going to take forever. 

But once it’s here, you just felt like you’ve just been through a whirlwind.  It’s so unfair. 

Initially I had typed a whole story about life being fair and unfair and was prepared to post it together with this blog.  But it was sooooo lame that I decided that it is better to cut it off and save my face.  Haha. 

Sigh.  I don’t really know what else to write tonite.  I need to wake up early for work tomorrow.  So, guess I’d better go to bed now.  But I’m still very much awake!  ARGH!

Oh, one more thing.  I have finally figured out how to leave the line between paragraphs.  Makes everything looks a LOT nicer ya?  It was such an eyesore when I had to read the second entry.  But, oh well.  I’m lazy.  Too lazy to edit it.  LOL!

Well, anyways, adios amigos!

Two days ago, I had wanted to update my blog.  But, manatau, halfway through it, I ter-pressed something on the keyboard and the entire window is gone.  ARGH!  Geram betul.

I had wanted to do the Movie post but I was so pissed of by my careless fingers that I’ve lost all the mood to redo my post.  So, I shall just describe it in a few words this time.

I was talking about two movies only actually.  DEATH NOTE and HAPPY FEET.  And I must say that DEATH NOTE is DAMN Kewl.  It’s definitely a must watch.  I think it’s one of the best adaptation yet, seeing that HP3 and Narnia is quite a disappointment.  But then again, I am in no place to criticize about it because I have never actually read the manga, apart from the first episode where Light first found the NOTE and learn how to use it.

As for HAPPY FEET,  It’s a bit less of what I’ve actually expected.  I had expected it to be a cutesipoo movie but, the cuteness just stops as Mumble grew up from penguin kid to teenage penguin.  But then, I must admit I like the soundtrack.  The songs are kinda nice, especially the ensemble of Mumble’s tap dance with Gloria’s singing.  Beautiful.

Almost towards the end, I thought this was going to be a cartoon movie with a twist - that is at that part where dear Mumble was caught and placed in a zoo.  I thought "Wow, This is new.  It’s a cartoon with a sad ending."

Then before I can even say supercalifragerlisticexpealidocious, it suddenly turned into a happy ending.  I was like, WTH?  Not that I don’t like happy endings, but I thought this was different.  Sigh, well, this is a movie for kids right?  You can’t expect too much I guess.

I know "someone" might have expected more from this entry, but due to reasons explained above, and the fact that I’m a lazy @ss, I am too lazy to repeat whatever I’ve typed.  So, sorry to those who are expecting it. 

On another topic, I would wish to inform everyone to try to refrain from calling me from 8th Dec to 16th Dec coz I’ll be going to China, more precisely, Beijing and Shanghai.  So, I shall appreciate it if you would "scratch" your itchy hands and wait patiently till I get back because I really don’t wanna be charged expensively just for bringing my phone there.  But of course, if there are emergencies, you can always give me a beep though I doubt there is going to be any.  *Cross fingers*

And then, there’s the superconventional, multipopular way called the SMS… I can always be reached that way. Hehe.

Right, till the next entry.  Buh-bye!